By: Andrea Jordan
Retrieved from: Essence
If anyone knows the ins and outs of “Christian courtship” it’s Heather Lindsey, founder of Pinky Promise, an organization whose members promise to honor God with their bodies and put sex off until marriage with a partner who has made the same promise. The author and social media influencer, has moved thousands to join, make the promise and look to her for guidance on dating with purpose. The happily married mother of two, who says she’s dedicated to encouraging women to find love God’s way, offers a crash course in Christian courtship for those who may be considering it as a new alternative to traditional dating.
Lindsey’s Christian Courtship Basics:
1. Set your boundaries. Don’t fret. Look at your boundaries as a way to honor God and not a book of rules. Because you love God and live for Him, honor Him with your body and be involved in a healthy relationship that glorifies God. With the boundaries that you place, you have more protection and God honors it.
2. Find Your Purpose. Use your single years wisely! Take time to seek God and understand what His purpose for you is and how it should be used to glorify the Kingdom. Before you think about getting into a relationship, you must know who you are in Christ.
3. Strengthen Your Relationship with Christ. Be content in your relationship with God alone. Learn to be content and whole with who you are as a Christian. Enjoy intimate time with the Lord and be still in His Presence. At the right time, God will present your Adam.
4. Educate Yourself on Biblically Based Relationships. Read books that are biblically based. These will help you gain wisdom on God’s design for relationships and marriage. After all, Christ is the author or love.
5. Check Your Spiritual Chemistry. Chemistry is spiritual before it’s physical. Make sure you and your beau are on the same page. Your spiritual values and goals should align and compliment each other. Marriage is ultimately serving Christ together.
6. Understand Your Role. The man should be the leader from the beginning. Ladies, submission should start before you get married. This doesn’t mean you have to be entirely submissive to him pre-vows, but if you’re headed down that road, it’s best to start practicing and understanding biblical submission.
7. Check Your Focus. Don’t get lost in the fantasy of finding your Adam. Every guy that crosses your path is not a potential husband. If you feel having a man is more satisfying than God alone, then that is becoming an idol in your life. Let go and trust that God will bring him in His perfect timing.
8. Grow In Your Season of Singleness. Enjoy these days while you have them. One day you will be a wife with responsibilities. There is a cost that comes with that. Marriage is bigger than the idea of a ring.
9. Let God Lead. You’ll know it’s time when God leads you to do it. Stop trying to run ahead of God and allow the Holy Spirit to lead. Trust me, you’ll just know when it’s the one.
10. Stand Strong on Your Beliefs. Don’t let others discourage you from doing what is right. You’ll be attacked and told your standards are too high because you choose to abstain from physical intimacy. Keep living for God and hold tight to your standards, even when it’s not popular.